So long to the port

Goodbye Maurice, you will not be missed. As Dr. Pahnke told me "today is a big day, it symbolizes that everything is officially over and it is time to start living your life again". It feels so good to no longer have that port in my chest. It coming out was a lot easier then I thought it was going to be. When I got to Dr. Pahnke's office this morning I was so nervous. Ryan and my good friend/favorite nurse Dawn were there. We were told that only one person could be back with me while the procedure was being done. I chose to have Dawn stay with me, she is very calming, she has been the only person to ever touch the port so it was perfect that she was there when it came out. Not to mention that Ryan doesn't handle blood and cutting that well, lets not forget what happened to him during my chest tube insertion. The whole procedure took about 20 minutes from start to finish.

Today when I got to see Dr. Pahnke again I was reminded of why I love him so much. He walked in the room and put a hospital looking OR jacket on over his clothes and I asked why he was putting that on, he said "I don't want to get blood on my tie", not too comforting doc! He took one look at my chest and said "WOW! Look at those, did you show them off to the neighbors yet", now remember this is the man that loves to say inappropriate things, however, him saying those things are a great distraction to what he is really doing. He got out his needles to numb the area and I started shaking. I have been stuck so many times over this past year but needles still make me queasy. The needles going in were the worst part of the entire ordeal. They stung really bad. When it was time to cut me open they had Dawn move over to my right side and she held my hand the whole time. I didn't feel him cutting me or anything, he numbed the area very good. I did feel some pressure in my chest as he moved the port around and cut scar tissue, when he pulled it out of me he held it above my face and said " here it is, I gave a you a purple one". It was fairly gross. He then said he was going to pull the tubing out and I might feel it moving through, he was right. It wasn't painful just an odd burning/traveling sensation. When he pulled the tube out he said "and here is the catheter", I was expecting it to be much longer so I said " that's all it is" well to no ones surprise his very appropriate response was "good thing I am not married to you, that's at least 14 inches", I love his humor. Apparently I was bleeding quite a bit, he kept applying a lot of pressure on the artery and he did a lot of stitching. When he was finally done with everything he sat me up, stood next to me, held my hand, and rubbed my back for about 5 minutes. He was talking to me about Disney World and about how 1 year ago I was just starting this journey. He said he was proud of me and he was happy it was finally over for me. Those are the little things that he does that makes you realize that he is doctor that is in his profession for the right reasons. He really cares deeply about his patients, he always takes the time to show you how much you mean to him. After I got dressed I took a picture of the port with my phone to show Ryan. He and Dawn both agreed that if was in there he would have been on the floor.

Dawn was a great person to have with me, she talked to me during the whole procedure, she never let go of my hand, and she made me feel safe. I will never be able to say how much she means to me, she has been there every step of the way with me. She got me through so much and has continued to help me emotionally through all this. She definitely chose the right career path, she is so caring and compassionate, I am so glad that I get to have her as my nurse/coworker/friend.

They said all this would be one year out of my life. Today it was exactly one year since I had the port put in. Everything came full circle today and I am glad to say GAME OVER!! Amy won :)

1 year, port removal and Disney World

On March 24th I passed the one year mark of my diagnoses. I can't believe that it has been a year. When I think back on the night that forever changed me I feel so proud of myself. I have come so far and overcome so many things. I remember thinking about everything that I was about to go through and feeling like there was no end in sight. When in actuality the year flew by! I know I have said in previous posts how thankful I am for my doctors but saying it a few times doesn't feel like enough. I honestly feel like I hit the doctor lottery (if there was such a thing). I would not trade Drs. Pahnke, Misleh, or Saunders for anything. Each of them have been so caring, compassionate, and have all gone above and beyond what a doctor has to. Dr. Panke did such an incredible job with my surgery, he spent so many of his own personal hours talking to my husband and I. He took the time to invest in me and my family and he really truly cared. It wasn't the I have to because I am your doctor and it is my job care it was I am going to do whatever it takes whenever it needs to be done care. Seeing him every 6 months now feels like a lifetime between appointments, I actually miss him. Dr. Misleh knows how I feel about him, he has the hardest job in the world at times and the best at other times. There is not a day that goes by that I do not feel grateful for him. He got me through the worst year of my life, now anyone that knows me knows that I can be a little much to handle at times and some might even say I am dramatic (which I totally am)but Dr. Misleh never downplayed any of my feelings or concerns, he listened to my crazy questions and silly reasoning for doing things and he had an ability to make me feel calm, maybe it is because he saved my life but when he says something I believe in him with everything I have. Dr. Saunders has such a special place in my heart. I never thought that I would ever look in the mirror again and be happy with what I saw. Dr. Saunders did such an incredible job, he gave me back something that cancer took away from me. Not only did he give me back some boobs but I have to say they are better than the other ones. How many 32 year olds with two kids can say they have perky twenty year old boobs, it's nice. Everyday I feel more and more like myself again and everyday I am one step closer to hearing the word cured. Yesterday, April 5th, I received my 18th and final Herceptin infusion! I also get to have my port, or Maurice as my kids call it, removed next Wednesday morning ( side note, DO NOT YouTube any procedures you are going to have done, you will find a video and it will scare the crap out of you). I am so excited to finally have that thing removed from my body. Of course I am nervous, the thought of my collapsed lung when it went in terrifies me. Now of course there is no chance of them collapsing my lung while removing it but it still haunts me. That was the worst experience of my life and I will never let anyone give me a chest tube again. Having the port removed feels like it is all officially over, something I have been dreaming about and wanting to happen for the past year. DISNEY WORLD! In ten days we will pack up the car and travel to sunny Florida for seven days of just the Minskers. We have never been a family vacation before, the last time Ryan and I went away was to the Outer Banks while I was pregnant with Gabby. The kids can hardly contain their excitement but I think mommy might just be a little more excited. I am so grateful for the women in radiation who nominated my family for this trip and even more thankful for the For Pete's Sake Foundation for choosing my family for this trip. It is going to be so nice to not think about anything that has happened, to see my kids faces when they see Disney and to make some really great memories with Ryan, Gabby, and Cole. All in all what started out as being a horrible journey that I didn't want to go on, it is endidng with me feeling I am grateful for each experience I have had.