My Poems

Poem #1

"My Story"

I was given a second chance, so my story could be told

I was diagnosed with cancer, at 31 years old.

When I went through chemo I lost all my hair

it was what I had to do, so I didn't care.

Two beautiful angels were my inspiration

when I'd feel like I couldn't do it, they were my motivation.

I kicked and I fought for 8 months long

now it's been 2 years since the cancers been gone.

I've been through hell and back, many tears have been shed

but now I am smiling and the hair is back on my head.

I will watch my kids as they grow and become adults

I will tell them stories they can't remember of the battles mommy fought.

I will watch my daughter get married and my son go to prom

I will be there when they need a hand, help guide them along.

I will tell them I love every single day

because cancer came so close to taking that away.

I treat each day as if it is my last and look to the future

but don't forget my past.

I have the scars to remind me, what could have been

had I not fought so hard, had I not gotten the win.

Now my eyes are wide open, all smiles for me

because I beat cancer and that is my story.

Poem #2

"I Wish I Could Run"

As I sit in his office,

alone, cold, and numb

I hear what he is saying,

but I wish I could run.

He says there's a beast growing deep inside my chest

he says he can save me or at least try his best,

I understand what must be done,

but why is this happening, I am only 31.

I stare out the window no feelings at all

my life flashes by, the room becomes small

I think of my family, my babies, my friends

all the things I did wrong, I need now to make a mends.

He says we'll fight this battle, he says it can be done

I hear the words he's saying, I wish that I could run.

I sit in a chair, poison going in my vein

I watch the bag empty, I try to hide my pain.

I look at the people sitting just like me

all walks of life, all ages I see.

The faces are pale, they look frightened and weak

Cancer doesn't care that you now feel like a freak.

Days now spent sick, bald, and sad

I look in the mirror, now I feel mad.

My babies don't understand, my husband stays strong

I search for the answer of what I did wrong.

One year later he tells me I won

I heard what he was saying and I am glad I didn't run.

Poem #3

"A Love So Simple"

A love so simple, a love so pure

from the moment I met you, I knew I needed more.

I love the way you smile, the way you look at me

I love your little voice, and the innocence you see.

I love your blond hair, and those big blue eyes

I love that no matter  what, we will always have ties.

I love you both the same in every single way

I love the way we cuddle at the end of every day.

I love my babies, Gabrielle and Cole

a love that comes from deep within my soul.

Closing a book and writing a new one...

"It's not about what it is, it's about what it can become" -Dr.Seuss. For me, this blog has served as a therapist. A place where I could let my thoughts, my emotions, my fears, my anger, flow without being judged. A place where I would document every detail no matter how graphic, every thought no matter how unimportant it seemed to others. A place where I could write a story. A story about heartache, fear, loneliness, uncertainty. A story about me. A story that I am happy to say finally has an ending. This year will be the 3 year mark for me! I honestly can't believe it has been 3 years since this journey began. I can say with complete honesty now, I was certain in 2011 it was the end for me. I had no idea how strong my body was, how strong my will to live was. I had no idea what a blessing this would turn out to be. I sat a few nights ago and re-read my entire blog (I had it printed out into books for Gabby and Cole). I cried from the first post to the last! Reading it now, being in a completely different state of mind, I actually scared myself a little. I can see the growth I have made over the years. I am happy with how my life has turned out. I have decided it is time to close this book, put it away on a shelf. I did what I set out to do in 2011. I survived. I faced every single fear I have ever had. I have stared death in the face and am no longer scared of it. I have had to let go of things, place my life in the hands of doctors and just believe that some day I would wake up from this nightmare. It was a long journey and like all journeys there were bumps in the road and set backs. There were times when I thought "I can't do this", times when I wanted to throw the towel in. There were many months were I never thought I would be me again. I never would be able to look at my chest and be ok with it. I would never be able to put cancer behind me and move forward. I thought this journey would last forever. I know now how lucky I am, how much worse it all could have been. I may not have the same chest I did 3 years ago, I may not have the same hair I used to. I may be 30 pounds heavier then when this started, but the things I am walking away with, I wouldn't trade them for the world. I have a deeper appreciation for life, I have a desire and drive to see and explore what this world (not if you need a plane to get there) has to offer. I understand how precious our time is. I learned to trust people, to trust myself. I learned to accept things as they happen because I have no control of them. I learned things will work themselves out. The biggest and best thing I am walking away from this journey with is the feeling that I have made a difference. I talk to A LOT of breast cancer patients a day and when they tell me they got a port because of me, or they agreed to chemo after talking to me, or I am the reason they made it through treatments, I can't describe that feeling. That second of feeling like I was the reason someone felt hope, that feeling made every second, every tear, every pain worth it. Closing this book was a tough desicion for me. I have enjoyed writing this (maybe I will start a blog about "Bad Puppy"), I have enjoyed going back and seeing what really happened. Even though this blog means a lot to me, making memories with my family and friends means more. Thank to you everyone who has taken time to read my posts, pass my blog along, leave comments, etc.. I am so happy to say that Amy Lynn's Journey is over and it had the best possible outcome. This book may be closing but the big book, the book of the rest of my life is just starting and I am going to write the best possible story...