Round 2

Well today I knocked out another chemo treatment. I woke up at 4:00am crying. I did not want to go through this again, it was just three weeks ago and I got round one and it took the entire three weeks to recover. Doc said the first one will hit me the hardest, so fingers crossed this bounce back will be easier. After I finally was able to compose myself somewhat, it was something around 6:30, I tried to get up and clean to take my mind off of everything, it did not work. I spent the morning sick to my stomach again and trying to find the courage to get round 2 under my belt. When my dad came to pick up Gabby and Cole, I lost it. Last the time I left them to go to a doctor I did not return for a week. Cole gave me his favorite blankie, Mr.Yellow, to take and Gabby gave me her ducky. Ryan, my sister, my mom, and I all climbed into my moms car and headed off. I cried the entire way. I don't know why I bother to put make up on before these appointments, it is all cried off before we leave the neighborhood. I arrived at the cancer center and went to wait for the doctor to come in. He did give me good news, he felt me up and declared that after one chemo treatment he could no longer feel a "definable" mass, he did still feel some thickening but not the 9cm mass that was there. So chemo 1 had kicked the ass out of the tumor. I asked if I could stop the chemo and was shot down very quickly. I must complete 6, that is fine because whatever the chemotherapy is doing it is doing its job and doing it very well. I got some advice on how to better manage the side effects I experienced like the thrush in my mouth, the bloody noses, and the flu like symptoms. He told me that the first chemo always knocks your counts completely out because your body is not used to being hit that hard, my counts actually came back higher than they originally were. it was now time to head back to the "Amy Suite".

Upon going into the chemo room and straight back to my spot, one of my favorite patients was standing there chatting. He asked where I had been and why I was back there, my patients are just being told that I am taking some time off. I have always liked this guy, super nice to me and he has a cool Boston accent. I filled him in and he was heartbroken. He felt very bad and sad "if you work here shouldn't you have been screened better". Well, it doesn't really work that way, he was told that no other patients are being told and he promised to keep the secret. He wished me luck and went on his way. It is so hard looking at people who I have seen fight the fight and win and tell them that you are now fighting. I wanted to cry and wrap my rounds him and tell him how sorry I was that he had to go through this as well. I walked into my suite and saw my chair, I was freaking again. My nurse, Dawn, gave me a very sweet card and a special stone that says "there is nothing to fear but fear itself", I held on to this stone the entire time. She accessed my port, and I will say it is much easier then finding a vein, I felt nothing. She went to get my meds and said "remember all we are getting today is ativan". She started the ativan and bendadryl, for some reason this time I was not as loopy. I was still feeling good and had no care but I was able to play a card game with my entourage and talk without slurring my words. We sat there for awhile and Dawn and LeeAnn stayed in there with me, I knew this time they were staying because the chemo was going in but I was able to not focus on that. I then looked at LeeAnn and she told me I was out of the woods. Yay, finally the Taxotere bag came down and I knew it was all going to be ok. They hooked up the next chemo all went smoothly, then third drug again no problems.

I knocked out chemo number 2 with no numbers. I will get my neulasta injection tomorrow, followed by a follow up with my lung suregon and another chest xray. Then after that I am resting for 3 weeks, no collapsed lungs, no hospital stays, nothing. I will return on May 19th for my third round which will be halfway point! I feel very confident and going to knock this out of the park.

Cancer 0 Amy 2 (sorry for any misspelled words or nonsense, I am still a bit roofed)